Hope, perhaps?

---I was moving around injured..
Tiny cracks within me,
I was afraid and scared
of letting those wounds deepen..


Then along came that ailment-
love, in overpowering strong torrents.
I try to hold on, not to relent,
but I succumb, madly to that madness.

A new world opened up before me,
there before my jaundiced eyes..
violets seemed bluer than the sea,
clouds bloomed like lilies in the skies..

Would you believe I was in love?
A sudden burst of sunlight,
flutterings of a chained dove..
fighting restraint with all might..

I give in, I simply surrender
to this wonderful sense of bliss.
As lucky as I have felt ever
the fates have ordained, as it is.

I'm getting used to this
languorous labor of pleasure,
letting countless days and nights
catch me up to measure..


On a sudden wintry cold day,
this dream comes to an abrupt end.
My life's swiftly stolen away
leaving many broken pieces to mend.

I am swept away by the grief,
I fear my heart breaking apart.
I doubt my love's truth, my belief,
and agonize over that perfect past..

A joy lost before I could even hold,
take my memories to imprint.
Reminiscences of yesterday and old
bring smiles with a teary glint.

As I seek to repair that broken piece
with iron shackles, fetters and a latch,
to myself I make a difficult promise
to never let ardent love to attach.

Trudging along with such a misery
under the burden of such a vow,
I seethe at my misfortune in fury
unable to allow insecurities to go..

I do not know against whom I wage wars-
Against my own uncertain emotions or destiny?
Was it written by those faint distant stars?
Or by someone stronger-a greater divinty?


Spring creeps in on tiptoe,
buds open up to a tender sun-ray,
the frostiness would soon flow,
the chill eventually go away...

The heart has learnt to accept
and tries to move on with life..
I take courage from the floret
that flowers despite winter strife...

March has brought the colors to fore,
Meadow greens, roses red and golden entice..
I have never seen such beauty before-
Was I too busy in mourning to once notice?

I owe my heart to life's such glory-
I'm sure love, as it knows, would understand.
How long can one wallow in melancholy?
How long does one, for grieving sake, lead life so bland?

I tread on tentative steps- not yet
ready to hurl myself head over heels.
I find love but play hard to get,
there's still that promise to deal..

Try as I may, I fail nevertheless.
Love overpowers me yet again,
And I submit easily, helpless
to fight and deny myself a haven..

Bright summer sunbeams seem to melt
my frigid metal bearings.
And again, yet again, I just assent
to flow with springtime tidings..

Yesterday's bitter wounds still pain,
And there's a lot to worry about tomorrow-
But not loving today would go in vain..
Hope is the best, perhaps the only answer to my sorrow..

Hope's been crushed and lost much in past,
and it is but unborn in the time to come-
the only time it promises to last
is today, now- while waiting for the dawn.



I write this extra long poem after finishing James Patterson's- Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas which is "for everyone who's loved and lost and learned to love again".


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